Today was both a quite good and a very bad day.
The good part was the weather: after a gray and drizzly morning it got sunny and warm in the afternoon. I sat outside with my mom and we were both reading and we even had icecreams that were left over from last year.
The bad part was that I tipped over my teamug on top of my laptop (most went on my desk, luckily) and that I have no idea if it will survive this incident. Also, my recurring mental struggles were very presant today, casting a shadow over the warm sun.
This leads me to the end of the day. I have opened my laptop and put it upside down with a towel in it and dried ad good as I could with cotton earbuds. It’s not soaked, so I have hopes for its recovery.
After doing what I could for my laptop, I went back outside and texted with a friend. We talked for a bit about my laptop and computers in general and then I told him about my mental struggles and how bad I felt. He was nice, understood what I felt and really talked about it with me, asking questions and being genuinly interested in general. Gid, I needed that. I feel like I am being ignored so often when I talk to people about how I feel, there is always something more important, that it means a lot to me when someone actually listens. He also had some advice that I can actually use, I hope, and after that and some crying I felt so relieved. Like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
Here is a piece of advice, guys. When you feel terrible, find a friend or a stranger who listens to you. Not your parents, because it’s their job to care about you (and in my case I will always be the one they don’t have to worry about as much as my brother, and although I don’t blame them for that, it makes things different). Find someone who cares about you because of you.