Daily Draw – Four of Wands

Four of Wands - Shadowscapes

Four of Wands – Shadowscapes Tarot

This card is about celebrating early successes, about harmony and peace. It also says that prosperity has to be maintained, you have to work to keep the good things.

“Today it is important for you to enjoy your little successes. You’re reading tarot again, you are trying to find a balance between making yourself useful in your free time and doing nothing, you are making an effort to think positively about some things that are still freaking you out. Look at the roses on this card, how beautiful they bloom because of the work you are doing. And look at the deer, how happy and wild and free they are! Today, be those deer. Jump high, dance with the faeries, be free. Just give your roses some time too, today, because without you they will perish.”

My voice

I have always liked writing. Both the creating of a story and the physical act of writing down the words on a paper trigger something inside of me, make me feel happy and whole. But often when I write, I feel like there is something missing. I cannot transcript my feelings, my emotions, my intonation. In the end, it is just words on paper and some days, that’s not enough. What I want to do is speak to you, not by the pixels on your screen, but by the sound in you headphones. I want you to hear me say what I have to say the way I want it heard, not the way it looks like on screen.

I’ve always liked movies and tv-shows that feature a voice-over at some point, introducing the story or ending it, or keeping it all together.
If only I had the nerve.

It’s eating me from inside

I feel so alone.
I feel different. I am different.

I am so, so in need of a way to express this hollow feeling inside of me.

 

It’s being homesick for somewhere I’ve never been.
It’s a song stuck in my head.
It’s a blank paper, waiting for my pencil but I seem unable to draw a line.

It’s wanting to cry, but the tears don’t come.
It’s wanting to create, but nothing comes.

It’s aching for active, but being stuck in passive.

I am so afraid.
I am so afraid.
Why am I so afraid?


Adele, 25, entire album